


Gone

by ShadowSelene (Shadowdianne)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 11:09:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18570217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowdianne/pseuds/ShadowSelene
Summary: How about Emma goes missing and Regina thinks that she just left her. then suddenly she turns up one day with a gap in her memory.Asked by anon





	Gone

**Author's Note:**

> To the readers that don’t follow me on twitter/facebook/tumblr I’m just going to link you this post I made a couple hours ago. The very basics of it are simple: I’m afraid I will be leaving the fandom this upcoming September once the supernova is finished. The reasons of that are written over the post and I don’t want to keep you all from a one shot. However, I want to, very briefly, state that until September I will keep on writing; finishing wips and answering prompts. I want to leave with a sense of closure. Be that my Ravenclaw mind. Any questions… hit me up.  
> I would also like to nod to a few people here that I truly hope are reading this: essvari: thank you for every thoughtful word. I hope to keep seeing you in the stories I plan to post until September. Kuroneko: thanks for sticking with me for so long.

“There you go.”

The words left her mouth in a barely-there mutter and Regina winced as she watched Emma jump from where she had sat at the edge of the guest-room’s bed; one leg beneath her body, the other dangling at the side. Her eyes were shinning white by the time the younger woman finally stared at her and the brunette felt her fingers dug into the second blanket she had brought for her; knowing instinctively how much the younger woman hated feeling cold in the middle of the night.

A knowledge, a voice inside of her whispered, that she wasn’t sure she was allowed to even store inside of her anymore. She still offered the blanket to Emma, however, stilling her shaky fingers and pretending not to fear the quiet yet biting sparks that covered her skin in purple and silver. The blonde hummed and moved forward, not leaving the safety of the bed’s mattress, letting the jumper’s sleeves she had been fiddling with riddle up and thus uncovering far too pale skin bruised and raw in where the wrist protruded far more than it had done the last time Regina had seen her; sickly and holding traces of bitter worry that adhered themselves to the back of the brunette’s throat.

The blonde picked it up far too quickly; quicker than Regina would have wanted and the brunette found herself watching as the easy movement turned stifled and stilted as the younger woman put the blanket on her lap, fingers skimming over the fabric, long, bony and with bitten nails. She looked fragile, the word whirling on Regina’s mind as she took a step forward, not really coming close enough to the bed, letting the blonde enough space for Regina herself to feel as if she wasn’t drowning in guilt.

Guilt of not having been able to search better enough. Guilt of having thought that Emma was truly gone. Guilt at feeling worried and then angered at the way she hadn’t been able to contact the blonde, no matter which spell she tried, how many times she called to a phone that by the second week was already dead and unresponsive.

_“There’s a portal down the road.”_

That had been the last major sentence Emma had uttered after Regina had opened the door of the mansion only to swallow down a sob as she found the younger woman standing in front of her; eyes glazed, magic so weak it was barely a pulse that washed against her and lips and eyes bloodied and battered. She had been far too slow before the woman had begun to stagger forward; arms rising to her chest, trembling but she had ultimately been able to catch her, poofing them both at the mansion’s living room; a gust of wind taking care of the still ajar door as she had turned her full attention to the woman who, after a month, she had thought had fled the realms.

It had been impossible to really have a conversation with the blonde after that; every question was met with silence and faraway looks, words like magic, beans and torture leaving her lips in short intervals; coloring the air in front of them as Regina tried to not fidget, unladylike as it was, to not break in two. Now, after a quick call to Snow and David that had left her tongue tired and sobs trapped far too deep within her, she eyed the woman seated at the bed; wondering once again what should have been the right response to the night; so many days ago, in where fueled by cider and spite she had asked Emma to stay while the faint line of a ring that hadn’t been there for the shortest of times kept still mocking her with every breath she took.

Emma had stayed but the morning after Regina had awoken to cold empty sheets and the whiff of the blonde’s scent curling on her nose, not once leaving her as she answered to a worried call from precisely the woman she had just finished having one with; mouth like cotton, lipstick smeared and a pounding on her head that had made her need to take a double take as Snow asked her if she had seen the younger woman; David saying that she wasn’t at the station.

She hadn’t wanted to admit that she had burst out of the seams of a secret poorly kept together by longing and grief, she hadn’t wanted to explain how she had admitted feelings that weren’t ones that shouldn’t have been shared. Yet, she had done that, in a voice far too shaky and fears wrapping around her head, tightening against her heart as she didn’t dare to ask one doubt of her own: was it her fault?

Was it her fault that Emma had left?

It hadn’t mattered; it truly hadn’t because Regina hadn’t had the energy to explain to Snow that she feared that in the same way she wasn’t able to feel the blonde; couldn’t feel the magic that was so hers that was just as powerful as any other clue to the blonde could have had left behind.

She had tried to search for her, had tried every spell in the book and yet, when nothing happened the word “gone” had begun to shine prominently on her mind; a constant staccato on her heart that had made any kind of sleep impossible.

And now, after far too many nightmare-fueled nights, Emma was there, lips thin and pressed together as she admitted she couldn’t remember how she had been abducted; where she had gone.

“I’ll let you sleep.” The sentence was meek and was almost met with silence. A poorly worded _“I’m sorry”_ that Regina wanted to bury down inside of her before she started to crack. Yet, when she finally turned, she heard the rasp of the younger woman’s voice reaching for her, broken in a myriad of different ways than she herself felt.

“Can you sleep with me?”

It was a cruel irony how they had never had had the conversation that they should have had a month ago and Regina could remember how she had wished for the night to never end as she screamed into her ceiling; Emma’s name trapped on her teeth as she felt the blonde kissing up her body, leaving a trail that made her grasp sheets and writhe. It was cruel how she had wished to not have the need to utter the words; worried the second they would need to have it whatever that had happened would become the one time act she had feared it would turn into.

And then, neither of them had had the opportunity to truly decide.

“Do you want me to?” Her voice sounded unrecognizable to her own ears, but Emma nodded softly at it, moving up the mattress, creating a spot still warm and soft Regina eyed from where she stood, open and guilt still gushing out of her.

It was the follow-up answer what undid her, magic rising inside her chest as she felt her body itchy, muscles aching as she already gave a few uncoordinated steps forwards.

“It was the only thing I could remember.”

And so, Regina stayed, wrapping her arms around the younger woman, pressing her body against hers as she fell asleep; the lights of the lampposts outside creating dotted lines she found glancing at as she felt the quiet yet ragged breathing of a woman she had feared she would never see again.

“I love you.” She said, fingers scratching the blanket, curling and pained after so many hours of stillness.

And, this time, she was awake to hear Emma whispering it back to her.

* * *

[[X]](https://shadowdianne.tumblr.com/post/184352500603/ive-written-this-note-a-dozen-of-times-maybe)

 


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